Here’s what the hell to do with portabella mushrooms

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Ugh, mushrooms.

I have broadened my veggie palate considerably in the last year or two. But I just can’t get on board the mushroom train. They’re slimy, they’re mushy, and they smell like unwashed feet. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I decided to try them again for the same reason I try half the things I do: because someone on Pinterest told me I just had to. Apparently they’re amazing in fajitas. I was skeptical but game for the challenge.

I bought a single portabella cap–no five-count value packs for this shopper. I cut the little stump from the bottom, plugged my nose (crusty feet smell; oh the humanity!), and sliced the ‘shroom into strips. I threw them into a pan with 2 t. heated olive oil, then added slices of fresh yellow bell pepper and onion. Stirred ’em all around and let them brown up a bit, then added a liberal splash of water and a T. of dry fajita seasoning spice mix. They simmered down for about ten minutes.

I piled them on charred tortillas with fresh salsa, tomatoes, Greek yogurt, and shredded lettuce. The result? Magic. Pure magic, I tell you. Turns out, portabella mushrooms are like amazing little sponges. They absorb the spices and flavors around them and come out looking and tasting like meaty little steak strips (except better because they’re good for your body and no animals had to die to make your dinner dreams come true).

So now you know.

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